It’s amazing the way that a clean, rearranged room can settle a mind. Our living room felt cluttered and dark, even with 7 feet of window taking up most of the wall. Now that we’ve rearranged, I can see in my mind the parties that we could have, the potential to grow in this apartment. I finally see what Will saw when he fell in love with the building and the apartment. The floors still are uneven, the oven still is miniscule and the fridge hasn’t gotten any bigger, but I can see how we could live here for a long time. Longer than the just under a year that we have left on our lease.
We’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the future lately, and made some plans. I’m hesitant to share them with the internet; for fear that they might be derailed or for fear that they might come true, I’m not sure yet. Suffice to say that to say that those plans were made before I could see a future for us here in London.
I’m still not sure I see a future here. I’m incredibly homesick in a way that is too easily reduced to a list of foods I miss or experiences I wish I had. In fact, I’m not sure it’s just homesickness that’s been the cause of the fug that’s gathered over my moods in the past couple of weeks. It comes and goes, and right now, I’m incredibly happy to be where I am.
Supposedly it’s a blog-cliché to do a Thanksgiving “list of things to be thankful for” post, but I think that’s what this one is going to turn out to be. I think I personally will need the list as a reminder someday in the not-so-distant future when I forget why it’s all worth it.
I’m thankful to have a job. In the economy we’re in, any job is a good one, and this one is better than most. So let’s expand on that statement. I’m thankful to have the opportunity to work with great people in an amazing environment on the other side of the world.
I’m thankful that my family and friends and their families are mostly safe and unharmed after Sandy. I mourn the loss of historic places, but I know that New Jersey and New York are places where only the strong survive. They will rebuild, we will help, and before long the boardwalk will be back.
I’m thankful to have travelled as much as I have this year: to Lisbon, Bilbao, Paris, Le Havre, Amsterdam, Dublin. I know that whenever it is that we finally decide to go back to the States, I won’t leave with the lingering sense that we should have explored more, seen more. It’s been an amazing year.
I’m thankful for the technology that let me spend four hours on election night video chatting with friends across the states watching the results come in. The same technology that lets me see and speak with my sisters and my parents even though I’m halfway around the world.
I’m thankful for my partner, my teammate, my husband. I would not have made it this far without him. To the next 9 months and more. Thanks, baby.